Lawn Chairs

June 5, 2014

Today, I acquired new lawn chairs. Well, I think they are technically pool chairs, but we are going to call them lawn chairs because-- and this is important folks-- we don't actually have a pool.

I got them when I was at work today and we were reorganizing and cleaning my employers garage. These chairs ($160 new!) were being discarded because of one fatal flaw. Wheels. Apparently, this is not a desired attribute of pool chairs. Because whenever the wind blew, my employers would wake up the next morning to find all eight of their pool chairs lounging at the bottom of the pool. And guess who got to fish them out?

Certainly not my employers.

Anyways, long story short, I am now the proud owner of two magnificent lawn chairs and they are currently parked right on my back patio. In fact, I am also parked on my back patio. I have decided to spend the afternoon basking in the sun, writing, and keeping a sharp eye on the burly construction workers working on the house across the street. Just in case they decide it's too hot for their T-shirts. Or that their water is unsatisfactory and that they need to come steal some of mine. 

Because as much as I can appreciate a half-naked man lifting heavy things right outside my window, all that wonderful, sun-kissed skin is forgotten as soon as they decide to trespass into my backyard and steal my water. Sometimes I really wish I owned a BB gun. Or just any gun. Okay, I'm done now.